Nate’s NFL Preview
For those of you that have read my stuff before, you’ll notice that I’m hardly ever wrong. Just kidding. Actually it’s more along the lines of, if I pick you to win it all, you’ll have no chance. I do like to think that I can contribute some interesting perspectives though, and maybe share ideas that you might not have considered when it comes to opinions in sports. This year, I am going to do it entirely different. I am going to take my writing strengths – namely my Dear Letters – and vocalize my ideas about every single NFL team. This is better than reading team previews, especially when you can spend $8.99 and get that information for yourselves. First I would like to start with a letter to my friends...
Dear Friends,
This season is shaping up to be one of the most exciting in years. Usually I believe that there are 22-24 possible teams that could contend for a Super bowl championship. This year I believe there are 25. Let’s welcome the Buffalo Bills, Cincinnati Bengals and Seattle Seahawks to our list. Say goodbye to the Arizona Cardinals for teams that have no shot.
Love,
The ever-seeing eye
AFC East
Dear Buffalo Bills: Would you like to lose 4 super bowls in a row again? Well, at least you are on the right track. Second should be your expectation this season.
Dear Miami Dolphins: Matt Barkley called, and he wants his spot as the #1 pick back. Your squad might be in the way of that. Ryan Tannehill. Wow.
Dear New England Patriots: Better hope it’s not the New York Giants. Then you might have a shot this year.
Dear New York Jets: I love your identity. You’re a run first... no wait, that’s done, how about a relentless attacking... nope not anymore, a very deep... no the depth is gone, I got it, a well-coached... geez, what are you now?
AFC South
Dear Houston Texans: This is it. Gittur done! The NFC is stronger, your division is garbage, your team is loaded, go, go, go! Super bowl, homeboys!
Dear Indianapolis Colts: How in the seven hells...?
Dear Jacksonville Jaguars: How in the seven hells does Indy keep getting these guys?
Dear Tennessee Titans: You are the most sensible, solid, moderate, tolerable franchise in the NFL. No one really hates you, no one really loves you, you don’t dominate television, but we see you about twice a year. Your never 2-14, but never 14-2. Your just... everything the NFL wants you to be. Your parity in a nutshell.
AFC North
Dear Baltimore Ravens: This is it. One final chance at glory. After this season, I’m going to write you off. Your like the Buffalo Bills of the 1990’s, but scared of the attention. We’ll see you in the playoffs.
Dear Cincinnati Bengals: Welcome back! I knew you couldn’t miss the playoffs forever. Of course I hope you realize that your resurgence is in line with the 49ers chase for another Super... nah, you guys will figure it out eventually.
Dear Cleveland Browns: Hello? Cleveland? Where are you? Are you still out there? Huh, they must have joined the Arena Football League or something...
Dear Pittsburgh Steelers: See you in the playoffs too. Thank God the Denver Broncos don’t have Tim Tebow anymore. It should be easy to get past them now. They only have... Peyton Manning.
AFC West:
Dear Denver Broncos: Well done! Now if you could just get him some weapons. Good thing Peyton doesn’t want to get in Eli’s way. Like the Broncos have a shot to go all the way or something with Eric Decker and Demaryius Thomas.
Dear Kansas City Chiefs: Welcome back from the IR. Now watch out for that left kn...! Oh crap.
Dear Oakland Raiders: What is it? Just win, baby? Ok. Sure. Get on that.
Dear San Diego Chargers: You had 5 years! What more do you want!? This division was a walk-through. Tim Tebow won it last year! Come on!
NFC East:
Dear Dallas Cowboys: Now they’re getting it. It’s the secondary’s fault. No, it’s the lack of weapons at WR. No, it’s the coaching staff... no you idiots! It’s your quarterback!!!
Dear New York Giants: You already seem to get it. Carry on, nothing to see here.
Dear Philadelphia Eagles: Yo, it’s the Dream Team! Yeah! Cause Michael Vick must have 6 rings like Michael Jordan. And LeSean McCoy averaged 100 yards every game like Bird went 20-10-5 every night. And Nnamdi Asomugha is shutdown like David Robinson. And DeSean Jackson is electrifying like Magic Johnson. And, no wait, you’re not the Dream Team.
Dear Washington Redskins: You lucky bastards.
NFC South
Dear Atlanta Falcons: Nothing America likes more than trash talkers that haven’t done anything. So... Dear Julio and Roddy: Why don’t you sit down with LeBron James and ask him how that declaration of multiple titles went? See how he’s embraced. Now, are you still the best receiving core in all of football? Ok, then.
Dear Carolina Panthers: See Washington Redskins.
Dear New Orleans Saints: At least they can’t take away your Super Bowl trophy. Next time make it less obvious... like only 3 late hits instead of 7! Seriously.
Dear Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Your like the New York Jets of the south. We thought we knew you, and now we have no idea. At least your coach has personal appeal. It’s um... Steve? Charlie? Don? I give up.
NFC North:
Dear Chicago Bears: I am here to bring a Super Bowl to Chicago, and beat the Green Bay Packers! Whoo! We love you Lovie! You da man! You can go 2-14, but you always say the right things Mr. 8-9 all time vs. the Green Bay Packers. 0-1 all time in Super Bowls...
Dear Detroit Lions: At this rate you’ll be 16-0 in no time. If you’re going to lose, you might as well lose big. Imagine if they had won 2 games that season. Matthew Stafford would be throwing passes for the Saint Louis Rams and we’d be on the “Greatest show on Turf” kick again.
Dear Green Bay Packers: What’s that coming over the hill? Oh, crap it’s the New York Giants. Try again next season.
Dear Minnesota Vikings: Thank God you get to play the AFC South this season. That should keep you from any shot at getting the #1 pick next season and taking Matt Barkley. Whew, dodged a bullet there.
NFC West:
Dear Arizona Cardinals: Don’t screw this up. You guys have had so many franchise QB’s over the years including Tim Rosenback, Matt Leinart, Jake Plummer, Kevin Kolb, Neil Lomax, and Steve Beuerlein. John Skelton, here we go!
Dear St. Louis Rams: Bringing back the greatest show on turf! With the likes of Brian Quick, Brandon Gibson, Austin Pettis and Danario Alexander, I’m not sure how any team is going to stop you! See you in New Orleans!
Dear San Francisco 49ers: Joe Montana – Alex Smith. Roger Craig – Frank Gore. Jerry Rice – Michael Crabtree. Charles Haley – Ray McDonald. Ronnie Lott – Dashon Goldson. Yeah, how are you this good again?
Dear Seattle Seahawks: This is the strangest collection of talent I’ve seen since the 1988 Cleveland Indians. And I’m not talking about Sandy Alomar Jr and Albert Belle. I’m talking about the movie, “Major League”. Sid Rice, TO, Marshawn Lynch? Please do Hard Knocks next year.
AFC: Patriots, Texans, Steelers, Broncos, Ravens, Bills.
NFC: 49ers, Packers, Falcons, Giants, Bears, Panthers.
Final Four: Patriots vs Ravens; 49ers vs Packers.
New Orleans: Ravens vs 49ers, and forever known as the Harbaugh Bowl.
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